Well, hello again. Just felt the need to get typing again, so here's a little something one of my friends told me about...
These are the five stages people go through after a break-up. You might skip one or two phases, but there's no running away from some of them. They might not occur in the order I'm presenting them in; it changes from individual to individual.
STAGE 1
DENIAL
You are in shock. You can't believe it happened. Sometimes you wake up and reach for your partner only to realize that he or she's already gone.
You find that you're unable to accept that there's now an empty void in your life and that things aren't the same anymore. It all happened too fast and you don't know how to deal with it. You keep thinking that your partner will come back to you and laugh and tell you that it was all a joke.
You are in full denial that you are now officially single again.
This stage typically doesn't last very long as reality smacks you hard really fast.
DEALING WITH IT
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do during this stage. Confide in your family and closest friends. Let them help you accept that the relationship is over so you can move on to the next stage. There's no shortcut to true acceptance and liberation from the pain; it's a step by step process that could take weeks, months or even years.
STAGE 2
BARGAINING
This is a phase that the largest number of people skip, most commonly due to their pride and unwillingness to "beg".
You know you're stuck in this phase when you find yourself constantly going back to your partner and reasoning with him or her, desperately trying to find a way to make the relationship work again. You may be willing to sacrifice anything to try to salvage the relationship at this point.
Calls, messages or even face-to-face conversations... anything to try to remain in contact and continue talking. You're trying your best to fix things so you won't have to deal with the grief and pain that'll be coming your way. Technically, this is similar to the denial phase as you still haven't let go of the relationship and are still clinging to the hope that things could still change.
DEALING WITH IT
The only thing that you should be salvaging is your pride. Don't wallow in self-pity and pick yourself up. You are better than this.
Give yourself some time and distance away from your ex. Try not to communicate with him or her. This means no messaging and no calls. In fact, don't even check how he or she is doing on social media. Unfollow them if you have to. It'll be hard at first, but I promise that it will get easier over time.
STAGE 3
DEPRESSION
Ah, here comes the pain and grief. It'll hit you like a fucking truck. This is when you truly acknowledge that the relationship is over and that all the memories the two of you had are going to be just that... memories.
You will feel immense sadness. You might even contemplate suicide, but Jesus Christ, don't even entertain such thoughts. You are worth much more than that. Don't cheapen yourself just because someone else might not see your worth.
This is also a time for reflection. Take this break-up as a lesson and improve yourself. The pain you're feeling can be used as a source of motivation to make yourself stronger, both mentally and physically. The future is bright and full of hope as long as you look towards it.
DEALING WITH IT
It's normal to feel sad, just don't let it consume you until it's all you feel.
If you feel like crying, just let the tears flow. Cry until you have no more tears because you'll feel much better afterwards.
Always know that you have loved ones around you who will always be there to support you as long as you ask for their help. Don't be afraid of appearing weak by asking for assistance. This is part and parcel of life and people will understand.
Try to keep yourself occupied by doing things you love with people you love. Pamper yourself and get some shopping or gaming therapy - whatever floats your boat.
Most most most importantly, love yourself. Don't go and mistreat yourself as a sort of punishment because you're just punishing yourself. If you don't know how to even love yourself, how could you expect others to love you?
You and you only are responsible for your own well-being. Don't beat yourself up over other people's mistakes. Take care of yourself and before you know it, you'll be feeling much better.
STAGE 4
ANGER
Different individuals will experience this phase at different times.
You're angry because they had done you wrong. Maybe they did something they promised they'll never do. Whatever it is, you feel betrayed.
You might deeply resent your partner for making you hurt so badly. You might even want to lash out physically or verbally to get back at them. Refrain yourself from doing things you might regret. The anger will slowly fade away, much like the depression you feel.
In time, you'll see things from their point of view and understand what went wrong. You'll accept that the relationship had to come to an end and nobody was truly at fault, but it no longer matters because you've forgiven the both of you.
DEALING WITH IT
Channel that anger into energy and motivation to better yourself! Like always, keep yourself occupied. Exercise, socialize and indulge in your hobbies. Don't give yourself too much time to think about these stuff as it will just manifest and make a turn for the worse.
You want to recover, not be stuck in this phase forever. Only way to do so is to let it all go.
STAGE 5
ACCEPTANCE
Ahh, the long awaited final stage. At this point, you've accepted everything that happened, acknowledged the nature of the break-up and are prepared to move on. You don't necessarily have to be completely over your ex, but you are ready to let go.
You will still occasionally think of him or her, of the memories you once shared, but it's no longer as frequent. And you'll just shake your head with a wistful smile and tell yourself you're a fool, but it doesn't affect you that strongly anymore.
You are able to finally see past the anger and grief that once clouded your judgement and enjoyment of life.
The future awaits.
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